All Boys no Girlz Club
Posted on October 30, 2013
Pennsylvania just passed a law that can bring about harassment charges when someone touches pregnant woman’s belly. I wish this law applied to touching girls with purple canes. Here is a conversation I had the other day:
Stranger: I heal you.
Me: Don’t touch me.
Stranger: Oh I’m sorry. But I heal you.
Me: Thank you. But please don’t touch me.
I am used to odd comments, but I was truly shocked to find someone actually felt they could grab onto me. Before I get too far into this subject, I want to let you know some other things people have said to me:
“You’re very sexy with that cane. You must be a movie director.”
“How did you break your leg?”
“What happened to your leg?”
“What’s wrong with your legs?”
I should have clarified when I said “things ‘people’ have said to me”. What I really meant was men (sorry friends who are boys – please bear with me). The only time a woman approached me was when she asked “Can I have your cane?” Granted she had just come from the Methadone clinic by the subway and had also asked me for my “clean white hat” and a hug. I was charmed by her. She didn’t get my purple cane though (or hat or a hug).
Every other time? Not so charming.. I wonder what it is that makes someone who is seemingly weak (in this case, disabled me or pregnant women) more approachable by strangers?
I also wonder where these intrusive men come from. Not one man in my life would ever ask this question on the street unless it was through pure care and concern for the other person. That’s the fine line. I always want to tell these men that the best way to judge whether they should say something to me is whether or not they would say the same thing to a man. If the answer is yes, go ahead and ask. The things above were not said out of care and concern, they were just another form of street harassment.
Also, where do these men live? Is there a club for them? There must be somewhere they can gather to talk about their experiences preying on the weak. If so, is it an exclusive all boys no girlz club? Are they the Little Rascals all grown up? They are most definitely big rascals now.
I’m going to close this by telling my favorite subway story:
Megan and I were riding home on the subway a few years back. Sitting near us was a homeless man with a big box. He started shouting “Two negatives don’t make a positive!” When I caught on to what he was saying, all I could think was “uh, yeah they do, negative one times negative one equals positive one”. I was going to correct him when I realized what he was really saying. He was saying boys are plusses and girls are minuses and Megan and I are two minuses and therefore it won’t work.
So instead of correcting him, I did what any rational New Yorker would do. I pulled out my cell phone to take some photos of him. You will never guess what he did! He hides behind his box shouting “two negatives don’t make a positive!” and pulls out his camera phone, and starts taking photos of me! I was standing there trying to snap a photo of him, trying to avoid him snapping a photo of me, and all I kept wondering was… where does the phone company send his monthly statement?
Moral of the story? Not sure. But I hope you laughed.
Fear after writing this: I hope I don’t sound like a man hater.
So I was having a hard time finding a photo for today’s blog. And then I stumbled across this oldie but goodie. This man stole the trash can that sits out front. I saw him do it and chased him down. He said he was trying to help and was going to add a trash bag and bring it back for me. Mmhmm, yup. I thanked him for his good deed and said maybe some other time. Not only did I get the trash can back, but I also got this photo.