Nearly Perfect Pot Roast

Posted on January 2, 2014

Recipe: The Pioneer Woman – Perfect Pot Roast
Paleo or Non-Paleo: Mostly Paleo. The potatoes had milk in them. Also I’m not sure if potatoes are paleo or not.  (I am attempting to incorporate more paleo meals into my diet due to reported relief of autoimmune symptoms)

Side Note: As soon as I posted this article, I read an article decrying the health benefits of a paleo diet (most notably in autoimmune patients). So part of me feels duped. The other part of me realizes it’s still probably healthier to substitute a vegetable for a starch, even if there is no scientific paleo evidence to back it up. I feel empowered by my healthy choices and believe empowerment in the autoimmune world is hard to come by. So sometimes I’ll eat beans. Sometimes I’ll eat like a caveman. 


I started my Slow Liz’s 2014 Slow Cooker Challenge with a tough (for me) recipe on New Year’s day, and I wore myself out. 

Planning for my Nearly Perfect Pot Roast started yesterday over lunch with Megan and her mom (Kim). We were finishing up at Macaroni Grill, when I decided to show them the pot roast shopping list (it consisted of chuck roast and rosemary). They quickly told me that they didn’t want rosemary in the pot roast WHILE they were eating rosemary focaccia. Cue meltdown number one. I folded my arms and said ‘fine, then I’m not cooking hmphh’. I was determined to stick to the recipe. Anyway, I lost. So my pot roast recipe does not have any fresh rosemary, although Megan did relent today and shook some dried rosemary into the crockpot. 

Anyway, here’s a play by play of how it all went down:

Chopping: This was fairly easy. I’m glad I picked a recipe that didn’t require any fine motor skills like dicing and whatever is smaller than dicing. Since it’s starting to snow, I made a snowman out of the carrots and onions. His name is frostless. 


Raw Meat: I only gagged a few times. When I unfolded the paper I could see blood. Fortunately I just had to stick salt and pepper on it and throw it into a pan. But it was pretty gross seeing the salt soak up the blood. Also isn’t it mean to stick salt on a wound? 


Cooking: Who knew meat was so heavy? It was a struggle getting all 6 sides seared. If my little slab of meat was that heavy, imagine how much a cow weighs! Before I seared the meat, I had to brown the onions and carrots. This was fun, because I was trying to brown as much of the veggies as possible. So I made a carrot stonehenge. 


Also, Hanky is scared of meat on the stove, so it was no surprise to find him hiding in the farthest (but most comfortable) corner of the basement. 


Crockpot Magic: Here are some obligatory pot roast in the crock pot shots. 


In the end, I am so thrilled with how it turned out. Mainly I’m thrilled that it actually turned out. I wore out, so Megan and Kim made some mashed potatoes. The rest was all me. I learned a few valuable lessons, which leads me to: 

Tip #1: When budgeting, don’t assume a $5/lb roast will cost 5 dollars. I had to get two pounds. My meat budget doubled! 

I’m not very good at saying why something does or doesn’t taste good to me. I either eat it or I don’t. So… 


Update: Here’s a review from my pop-in-sorta-law BTB:


Yummy for the tummy
Carrots are an orange riot
Ohhhhhh meat liquor goes down quicker
with a Rhyme of Thyme
and Beef Broth made my mouth froth
last of all the Meat was the real deal
Sweet and Savory right down to my feet

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